P.S. I don't like you.
I've decided to turn over a new leaf: going is the arrogance, going is the mindless racism, and violence, and coming back is the nice boy i once was.
Also: i'm going to cut out my bad habits.
I'm going to stop biting my toenails.
I'm going to stop swearing so much.
I'm going to use a knife and fork proper.
I'm going to stop pissing in my sink.
In short I'm going to become a thoroughly respectable and upstanding citizen.
I could, however, nearly obviate the use of my sink altogether if I didn't use it for water and use it for pissing.
Brainwave!
Why not drink my own piss? That way my sink would become as otiose as a student of drama. Well, nearly.
So I poured myself a perfect pint of piss. Let it cool down. Took a photo.
It's really not very nice. Someone told me it tastes like water. It doesn't. It tastes like piss. I could only manage down to the Manchester bit. Couldn't even make the Beer Fest 05 bit. Pathetic I know.
So bang goes my trying to be decent. I'm gonna resort to being a bum again.
I've decided to turn over a new leaf: going is the arrogance, going is the mindless racism, and violence, and coming back is the nice boy i once was.
Also: i'm going to cut out my bad habits.
I'm going to stop biting my toenails.
I'm going to stop swearing so much.
I'm going to use a knife and fork proper.
I'm going to stop pissing in my sink.
In short I'm going to become a thoroughly respectable and upstanding citizen.
I could, however, nearly obviate the use of my sink altogether if I didn't use it for water and use it for pissing.
Brainwave!
Why not drink my own piss? That way my sink would become as otiose as a student of drama. Well, nearly.
So I poured myself a perfect pint of piss. Let it cool down. Took a photo.
It's really not very nice. Someone told me it tastes like water. It doesn't. It tastes like piss. I could only manage down to the Manchester bit. Couldn't even make the Beer Fest 05 bit. Pathetic I know.So bang goes my trying to be decent. I'm gonna resort to being a bum again.
posted by MattyG at 8:25 AM
3 Comments:
Mate, you're a psychopath . . .
I was particularly delighted when, having faile to get in to Oxford, my mate went to the self same college, and made friends with the bloke in the room I'd stayed in during interviews.
It was only months later that he told him I'd pissed all over the sink!
lol. After I failed to get into Magdalen, I got drunk and started crying about how i'd wrecked my life by being so lazy at school. Maudlin: I was.
it could be worse as well...
*cough* mark oaten *cough*
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